Tips for Having it ALL with Matthew Bivens


Matthew is a super authentic and inspiring entrepreneur and podcaster and we are very fortunate to have him on the show this week.

His podcast called ‘Having It A.L.L.’ (which stands for Abundant, Loving, Life) explores our beliefs, ideas, and mindsets on life and how those influence how we experience life as a whole.  For Matthew, “having it all” is a mindset; it’s how he approaches life. 

He didn’t always have this outlook, though.  As a child he dealt with lots of anger, frustration and sadness.  He kept quiet in his emotional moments and never expressed outwardly his emotions, even his mother couldn’t pry his true feelings out of him.  He continued to suppress his emotions through high school and college, but once he graduated, these feelings negatively affected the relationships he had.  There are three buckets of relationships in life; relationships to self, to life and to others.  Matthew was suffering in all three.

In 2013 he was introduced to Day Adeogba, creator of the YourDay Balance Game (YDBG).  This was a pivotal moment in Matthew’s journey to living a better life. This is where his healing started, where he learned to question the actions he was taking each day and to determine if they were leading him down the right path.

Matthew finally had to deal with unnoticed bad scripting and negative beliefs that plagued him his entire life.  A key one was, “If my partner wasn’t happy, I couldn’t be happy.”  He was tying his emotional happiness to that of his girlfriend at the time.  He wore this badge proudly, like he was being true to his love of her.  But he eventually realized that this made things tougher on her as now she was responsible for her happiness and his as well.

One thing that Matthew uses daily to help him be more authentic, happy and transparent is the Balance Chart he learned from YDBG.  Balance is an acronym for 7 building blocks to living a healthy life: breath, aqua, lengthening, anaerobic, nutrition, cleansing and energize. Through daily habit building within each of these building blocks, you’re committing to develop transparency and integrity of doing what you say you’re going to do.

One of th benefits of YDBG is that it helps you to change your life for the better through a public accountability system.  Each day you tell the group what you’re going to accomplish and the habits you’re going to work through and everyone encourages each other.  They also see when you fail in your accepted tasks and this helps to spur you to action.

One habit that Matthew has taken up is nightly journaling.  In his journal he writes about two very specific topics:

  1. Gratitude – he writes about the people in his life that he’s grateful for
  2. Magic – this is what he considers the ability to influence yourself, others and your own life in a powerful way
What you put your mind on, you create.

With this idea in mind, Matthew has created his own Mission Statement in life.  This mission statement is what he’s playing for in life, it acts as a north star for him as it helps him to live up to his top values in life which are:

  1. Joy
  2. Authenticity
  3. Family
  4. Character
  5. Love
  6. Fun
  7. Wisdom

Many people know their why in life, but Matthew believes that writing it down as a mission statement causes things to begin shift for you in life.  The mission statement goes from a thought in your mind to being a concrete thing in written form.  Then you memorize it and lastly begin internalizing it.  As you progress through this process different things will happen and even more shifts in your life and mindset will occur as a result. This was a great moment in our chat for me, because I realized that while I’m clear on my beliefs,  I hadn’t revisited my mission statement in awhile.

For Matthew, I learned that being bold starts when you’re willing to define what is living your greatest life and being the greatest version of yourself.  Once you have this, you go into action to bring these things to life.


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  • What does having it all mean for him?
  • Have there been a couple of impactful guests that he’s learned a lot from?
  • Did he have an obstacle to overcome on his path to sharing his journey with others?
  • What are some of the habits Matthew uses that allow him to be a more authentic, happy and transparent person?
  • Did this “healing journey” that he embarked on start by himself or together with his wife?


  • Why transparency and authenticity in your word and actions is so important
  • How we can “try on” habits like a pair of jeans, discarding the ones that don’t fit us so well
  • How we create all the experiences we have
  • The difference between your spouse being a partner or a project in your life
  • Plus much more…



  • Your Day Balance Game: Website
  • Esther Perel on the School of Greatness Podcast: Listen