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How to use discomfort to achieve greatness

In the past 36 hours I’ve done 4 things that scare the shit out of me.

Four things that make me feel exposed and vulnerable.

The truth is, that really should be the norm. It’s usually when I put myself out there that the biggest shifts happen in my life. 

I want to share what those things were (yet ANOTHER vulnerable position to be putting myself in) in hopes it will inspire you to get out there and take some risks. To get out there and share your goals or triumphs with people so that they can support you. And maybe even be inspired by you!

So what did I do? 

#1

Tuesday night I attended a book signing. Lewis Howes was in town to promote his book The School of Greatness. I would say he’s currently one of the top people in this "industry" living a vision that is similar to mine: premium coach, published author, keynote speaker, successful podcast, and promoting a mission that benefits the greater good. 

Three years ago, my role models were two dudes who had started a podcast about living a location independent life. They had a huge following, ran a successful membership community of entrepreneurs and lived wherever they wanted. 

I knew I HAD to get close to these guys. So I did everything in my power to know who they knew, be where they were, and make sure they knew my face and remembered it. 

Eventually I ended up working with them for a couple years, and we even lived together and traveled a bit overseas.  The point is that I knew I had to get near them, and I made it happen. Lewis is that new person for me now. 

He’s a human, he’s not perfect. I don’t idolize him. But I respect the process of mentorship, and I know the effects of being close to people who have what you want and do what you want to be doing. 

So when it was my turn to have my book signed, and get my big bear hug, I asked if he and his posse were grabbing food after the book signing, and if I could come. 

BOLD. I know.

 


Let me clear, a book signing is NOT the optimal place to get close to someone in Lewis’s position. He’s exhausted and bleary eyed from shaking so many hands, and connecting with so many fans; it can be really difficult to transcend that gap from fan to friend in that atmosphere. 

So I wasn’t hurt or surprised when he said he may just be heading back to his hotel to crash, but if I was still around at the end and they were going somewhere, I was welcome to join. 

I know when to play the long game, and I didn’t stick around (it was close to 10 at that point, and there were still dozens of people in line) but I told him he’d see my face again, and I know it’s true. 

If you know my story, then you know that I’ve found my success and opportunities through showing up at places that my mentors are. (Lewis calls it “stalking” and said he used the same tactics to befriend people like Tim Ferriss and later land Tim's book agent for his own book deal). 

Asking someone with 150K instagram followers, and a NY Times Best Selling book if they want to grab food is NOT easy. But in the end we’re all just humans, and I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t.

I also know there’s a better chance he’ll remember me for having asked, than for just saying “thanks for writing this book, love your message.” 

#2

Earlier in the evening, prior to my foray into rejection therapy, I also took advantage of the Q&A time and asked a question in front of the entire group. Lot’s of  people did, so you may think that it’s no big deal, and maybe it wouldn’t be for some. But standing up in front of 150 people to share anything makes me sweat. A lot.

Before asking a question, each person was also required to share what they were most grateful for. I knew I had to stand up and make myself visible - something I’ve decided I will ALWAYS do now, when given the chance - but I also knew that what I was grateful for would make me feel exposed. 

 Photo Credit: @joshuadphotography

Photo Credit: @joshuadphotography

I told Lewis (and the room full of people) that I was most grateful for the conference that I first saw him speak at. That conference, and Lewis’s speech among others, made an impact on my life so great that my entire path and purpose have unfolded since. 

Typing it, saying it, whatever the medium, admitting that publicly is ALWAYS gut-wrenching. 

#3

The third thing that I’ve done this week to put myself out there was to admit publicly that I’m starting a podcast, to start asking people for interviews, and to say “yes I know what a challenge it can be, but it’s important to me, and it’s part of my vision.” 

Collaborating with inspiring people, and interviewing game changers (world-changers) as a means to provide free content to my followers is something that has been on my mind for months. 

I’m finally moving forward with it, and it just feels right. Knowing the difference between what is right for other people, and what is right for you and your business is something that takes time to hone but is integral to feeling fulfilled and finding success. 

Receiving positive feedback (both internally and externally) has reassured me that this is a good step for my business, and makes all the nerves about launching well worth it. 

Spoiler: I've already got some AWESOME interviews lined up and I'm really stoked. Stay tuned for details.

#4

The final thing I did recently to stretch myself and be more vulnerable was on more of a personal note.

Following the book signing, I posted a picture yesterday and included in the caption a note about the effects that Lewis’s speech had had on my ability to be vulnerable. And namely how that had impacted my once-rocky relationship with my Dad, for the better. 

Admitting publicly anything about your family can make you feel SUPER exposed, but I find that when people I follow share things in an authentic way, it helps me connect with them.

It helps me feel less alone if I’m struggling with a similar insecurity, or family issue, or whatever the topic may be. 

If any content I ever put out can help people to ditch their ego, act out of love, and change their lives and relationships for the better, then I know I’m on the right path.

Part of living a bold life, is showing up in your relationships in a bold way and owning the fact that you are 100% responsible for everything that you bring to it.

Do you bring love and acceptance or bitterness and resentment?
Do you bring ego and entitlement, or compassion and humility? 


Understanding that we can't change anyone but ourselves and taking initiative to do so will benefit your life and business in ways you wouldn't even be able to imagine. 

So what's the point of me telling you about all the things that made me sweat and cry this week? 

I want to encourage you to always seize opportunities to step outside your comfort zone, to show up in a vulnerable way and let others connect with you on a deeper level.  

Being genuine and taking risks adds a richness to your life that wouldn't exist if you were to continue to play it safe.

What ways can you show up more this week?
How can you put yourself out there and live a bolder life? 

What awesome things will you miss out on if you don't? 

Hugs & Love,
Kimberly